Thursday, July 4, 2013

And As It Comes To An End

I can hear the fireworks from my window. And I kind of wish that I was watching them. Sitting out in the uncomfortable heat. Waiting forever for them to finally start and then have the night end so quickly, like time had passed in a second. This is probably the second year that I haven't gone to see fireworks. Spending the night of the 4th of July alone.

Lately, (Today) I've been getting so sick of being alone. Like what the hell, am I not good enough to hang out with you. I don't want to accuse you of anything but maybe it's just me. I'm probably being paranoid and whatever. I'll get over it. Like I always do. I'm so tired of hearing about your girlfriend or your boyfriend, or it's complicated and he's definitely not my boyfriend but he thinks so crap. I'm tired of being alone alone. I want someone to be weird with, as I said yesterday. Because anything less than weird just won't cut it.

I'm sun-burnt again. Maybe I should just stay inside. I don't like the beach anyway. Today was fun, though I'm so tired of being called things. It puts me in a bad mood (obviously) and yeah I'm not going to be walking around with a freaking smile on my face. I mean seriously? I'm not bothering you with my pouting, leave me alone. Okay, great.

I'm just so aggravated these days and I need to take it out on someone or something. And hitting a pillow is the stupidest thing ever. That just makes you look ridiculous and retarded. I'm going to start doing yoga soon. Hopefully that will take some of the stress away or something like that.   I don't know, whatever.

Till The Sun Rises,

Sarah Jean

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