And I have tons of time to kill since I took an exam today and totally bombed it, leaving the classroom ashamed and scorn. I'll get over it eventually, I'm not sure my mom will though.
I'm back to gossiping again. About all the people who hate me. I can honestly say I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And I'm so aggravated (and kinda hungry to be honest) that this is happening again. Is there something so mentally wrong with me as a person? Because I can't fathom why this has become a very obvious pattern. God, what the fuck?! Am I a shitty friend? Did I forget something? WHY ARE YOU EVEN AVOIDING ME RIGHT NOW?! Confrontation has never been one of my strong suits and when I try to do it, I do a shitty job and let my emotions get in the way and all of the sudden I become Sassy Bitch. Sorry, just can't help it.
I've been so torn down that if I had problems making friends before, it's even worse now. It hurts. And it may have started with one single shitty unforgiving person, but I'm just too sensitive to it all now. Everything anyone does hurts a little deeper and makes me want to sit in a corner and cry.
Because I'm not good enough.
And maybe it's bullshit, but I don't hear anyone else telling me otherwise.
Fuck You Very Much,